


truth

by jessamoo



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 12:58:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2582207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessamoo/pseuds/jessamoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the prompt "Cara's the slightly (or really) cynical Seeker who has to save the world, Kahlan's the slightly annoyed confessor who doesn't understand why she had to get the most difficult seeker ever and Richard is their somewhat naive assassin companion who's really terrible at being an assassin. Oh and Cara and Kahlan fall in love."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was very difficult being the seeker.

No one told her that before she agreed to this stupid task.

So, ok, saving the world wasn’t that stupid. But running after cats stuck up trees and lost teddies for children got boring very quickly.

Kahlan would say she was being dramatic, but Cara didn’t think so. She thought she was seeing this job for what it was, as opposed to whatever dream land of heroes Kahlan was living in.

 

Kahlan Amnell was her confessor. She’d found her in the woods one day just a few months back, running wildly, armed men at her heels.

Cara, never one to balk at men, fought them back for her – or tried to at least, but she hadn’t reckoned on the power Kahlan held within herself. Together they escaped the soldiers and Cara had escorted the haughty, ungrateful woman out of the woods.

Kahlan hadn’t known at the time she was with her seeker. She just saw a woman who was annoyingly flippant and wanted thanks for saving her, which Cara thought perfectly normal and Kahlan seemed offended by.

 

Things had not improved.

Whenever Cara would refuse a task or awkwardly try to back away from children trying to hug her, Kahlan would shove her forward with a fake smile. Kahlan was always trying to get her to act happy at the prospect of kissing babies and shaking hands.

Cara wanted to do her job and be done with it. She was there to fight. Kahlan did not see it that way, and she didn’t even see her as that much of a seeker anyway. She often grumbled at her luck of getting stuck with such an annoying, reluctant seeker as Cara.

Cara knew Kahlan had expected some gallant hero, full of ideas of nobility and duty. But she got Cara instead, a girl who didn’t even know magic existed. And seeing her patronizing annoyance she decided she would be even more reluctant just to spite her and her fanciful ideals.

 

Kahlan kept trying to convince her that she had been given this great honour. But Cara felt like she had been ripped from her life. She had been perfectly happy at home with her father and sister. Now she was far from home, bruised, damaged, with people she didn’t even like that much.

 

Because it wasn’t just her and Kahlan. No, that would have been bad enough because of their near constant bickering. No, kahlan had seen fit to let another join them.

An assassin, if you could call him that.

Richard Cypher was an ex woods guide turned assassin, though she doubted he was very good at either vocation.

He wasn’t clumsy or anything like that, he was just unabashedly nice. Like Kahlan, but his was the unassuming kind of nice, like a puppy, Cara thought. Kahlan was the kind of nice that queens were when accepting flowers from children. Kind, but guarded.

Richard out to learn to be a little bit more guarded.

He followed Kahlan around faithfully and didn’t think anyone could see how much he liked her. Cara understood, Kahlan was very beautiful. And good, and strong. But she was so clearly out of Richard’s league that she almost felt sorry for him.

Almost. But really her annoyance at his utter ineptitude rather overshadowed what sympathy she had for him. The truth was he was too nice to be a killer.

Cara was not nice. And she didn’t really want to be. She didn’t see how being nice was going to save the world. And Richard making eyes at Kahlan did nothing to sooth her mood.

 

Kahlan was sat by the fire, stirring the dinner for that night as Richard sorted the horses from a few feet away, glancing at her all the time.

Cara rolled her eyes and stomped over to Kahlan, who she did not believe was as oblivious to Richard’s feelings as she acted.

“Ugh, beans again? This is the fourth time this week.” Cara complains, flopping down by the fire.

Kahlan smiles but carries on staring at the food. “Well if you don’t like it Cara, you can always cook next time.”

“On second thoughts, beans are great.” She replies breezily and Kahlan glares at her wryly. “You know he’s doing the thing again.” She carries on.

“What thing?”

“You know. The puppy dog staring thing that he loves to do.”

“Don’t call it that.” Kahlan chides, but she is hiding a small smile.

Cara finds herself smiling back. So Kahlan was nice, but sometimes that was a good thing. She feel comfortable here, right in that moment. She can’t remember the last time she felt comfortable.

“Well you really ought to tell him to stop it. Else he might start thinking he has a chance with you.” Her tone is hesitant, questioning.

Kahlan stiffens and avoids her gaze. Something in the air between them changes then. It comes in on the breeze, like it always did when they were alone. It was strange. Cara didn’t know how to explain it. Most of the time Kahlan annoyed her and they would bicker till their throats were dry, but it wasn’t out of malice. And sometimes Cara admitted it was nice to have someone to argue with at all. She didn’t know how she would do this without the company, and they would all be dead without each other.

She wants to know if Kahlan would accept Richard as more than a friend. She was reluctant to call it jealousy, though she knew that was what it was. Not so much of him, but of the idea that something would pull Kahlan away from her. Seeker and confessor were supposed to be the ultimate team, they were destined to be beside one another in some capacity. She had come to rely on that, though she never admitted it.

“He knows he doesn’t.” Kahlan says quietly. Her tone is serious, but it isn’t sad.

The sadness swims into her eyes when she looks up at Cara. “There is no room for romance on a mission such as the one we have undertaken.” Her tone is solid and brooks no argument.

They look at each other for a long moment and Cara can read her face clearly. She was a seeker of truth, after all. And she saw the truth. That Kahlan wasn’t speaking for Richard’s benefit but for hers. She was telling her, plainly and clearly. Telling her despite everything, despite the way their eyes would meet in wild excitement across a battle field, despite the way they slept next to each other without thought or explanation, despite it all, they wouldn’t ever be together.


	2. Chapter 2

Their ride is a normal one.

Taking forever, hurting her legs and listening to Richard talk about the different kind of trees. It was boring, but the chatter made it a little less so with its comforting monotony.

And then it ceased as Kahlan shushed him.

Cara notices her wary expression first, hearing her listen carefully.

 

Then she hears it too, the snapping of branches.

They are upon them all too suddenly. D’haran soldiers, drawing their swords before they can dismount their horses.

But all of them were well versed in battle. A familiar childhood song for Kahlan, lesson after lesson for Richard. 

For Cara it was a dance with the spirits of the seekers, with death and danger and darkness. She held the sword of truth in her hands, feeling it almost vibrate with the strength and magic it held. Battle was a friend for her rage, battle was a beautiful ballet to which she knew all the steps.

Graceful and fearsome, she and Kahlan danced around the soldiers with their weapons. Richard, for all his kindness, was fiercely protective. Tall and imposing, his brute strength crashed through the soldiers, not letting anyone get to his friends. 

He couldn’t fight from every angle though, and soon arrows began to fly from further up. They had cut down many of the soldiers on the path in front of them but had not seen the archers who kept to the trees.

Kahlan powered toward them, readying to use her power. Without needing an explanation Cara knew she intended to confess the archer and direct his arrows to fire at his own men. But she would never get through the melee in front of her without help.

So Cara covered her. She carved a blood path for her.

She sees one man dart past her before she can get to him and raise his sword at Kahlan and feels her heart sink in panic.

Quickly she runs after him, hearing her breath loudly, sees Kahlan pause in shock at seeing the man in front of her.

Cara stabs her sword through his back before she understands that she has caught up with him.

He falls to his knees in between them and for a moment their eyes meet over his body, wild and alive and scared. 

Then a wide smile creeps onto Cara’s face as she roughly tugs the sword free from the sheath of his flesh.

A small smile tugs at Kahlan’s mouth, but as they hear Richard shouting and motioning for her to get the archer she remembers herself and moves on, giving Cara a stealthy nod.

 

They win their forest road skirmish thanks to Kahlan confessing the archer. But whilst Richard is exalting in their triumph, Kahlan isn’t meeting Cara’s eye. Something had passed between them above the body of the soldier. Something strange, and base and inexplicable. Something like passion and poison. Death and love, joined together in the air between them. And now, as they calmed and carried on, it simmered quietly and ominously and they both tried to push it back down.

 

It doesn’t get pushed down though. The sparks of a fire had been lit, and the more they covered it the more they grew into a flame that was all too ready to consume.

Cara doesn’t want it to consume them. She wants the seeker, the mission to consume her. She wants to know in her bones that she is destined to be with the sword. She is destined to dance with death and nothing more. It gave her a cold clarity that meant she could carry on as seeker. If she was distracted by Kahlan she would devote herself to her just as deeply as she would had Kahlan confessed her.

Seekers didn’t live that long. Everyone knew that. Cara had gotten used to the idea quickly. When you hold the sword of truth, the sword infused with death, you became at one with that force. Whether she is destined for the keeper or creator she didn’t know, but she knew one day this would come to an end. She wanted to leave this world having saved it. She didn’t want to be the one who left someone in grief. It would be better for her and Kahlan not to be together, just like she said that day by the fire. There was no room for romance on a mission that was sure to get you all killed.

Cara begins to think that is why Richard doesn’t explicitly say how he feels for Kahlan. Maybe he knows too. Suddenly she doesn’t feel so much sympathy for him, but kinship.

 

And it is especially hard to ignore feelings when there is only one pool nearby and you both happen to want to bathe at the same time.

Cara sweeps her hair back from her face as she swims leisurely in the water. The sunlight is making it warm and pleasant against her skin.

“Oh!” 

Cara snaps her head up at the cry coming from the edge of the forest surrounding the light pool of water.

Kahlan is stood there awkwardly, trying to look up and away from Cara as a blush creeps up her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were here…I can come back.” Kahlan squeezes her eyes shut.

Cara can’t help but laugh at her flustered expression and lets out a little chuckle. Hearing her laugh, Kahlan forgets herself and shoots her a glare.

“I don’t mind.” Cara shrugs casually. “And where else did you think I would be?”

Kahlan blanches a little. “I…what?” her voice comes out high pitched and nervous. It only serves to amuse Cara more.

Cara swims off, pretending to ignore her, waiting to see if she will stay or go.

When she hears the water moving behind her she knows Kahlan has joined her. Cara feels heat travelling up her spine at the very idea that Kahlan is behind her somewhere, naked.

 

They swim together in silence for a while, small shy smiles on their faces, edging closer to one another slowly as their guards gradually lower.

Their mutual nakedness is not lost on them. They can’t see one another’s bodies underneath the water but that doesn’t matter. They can see the slopes of their shoulders. Cara can see the way Kahlan’s dark hair tumbles down her back and out into the water behind her. She can see the way water droplets settle on her skin and trickle down her neck.

They gravitate toward one another, it’s a test. Neither of them truly know how far this can be pushed before it becomes something they can’t come back from.

But Kahlan laughs and the sound of it drowns Cara, like its filling her up and sinking her down. It’s the only sound in the world that exists to her then, the only sound that matters. There are bruises on her arms and she wonders if that sound can heal them. She was the seeker of truth – but perhaps that was the truth she sought. The bright sound a woman can make.

No, she thought, this was wrong.

Hadn’t she convinced herself she was destined for death? She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t devote herself to the life behind those green eyes.

Cara snapped out of her thoughts and swam away suddenly, averting her gaze from Kahlan’s skin.

Kahlan frowned in question. “What’s wrong?” she asks quietly.

Cara knows they both understood the risks of what they were doing, but Kahlan had perhaps been ready to forget them for a while. If they both did, in silent agreement, maybe they could work out what this was between them and how to carry on with it. But Cara had remembered before her, she had been the one to shatter the illusion, for both their sakes, before it went too far.

She stomps out of the water, not bothering to rush to pick up her clothes. She just leaves, her things bundled up in her arms, Kahlan staring after her sadly.

 

They don’t talk about what happened in the water. They don’t talk about how close their bare skin had been to touching, they don’t talk about how comfortable they had been with each other. They don’t talk about the desire hiding behind their eyes.

 

It’s been two weeks. Two awkward weeks.

Even Richard had noticed the tension between them, though he didn’t say anything about it either. Cara wasn’t exactly approachable at the best of times anyway, but recently she had been even more stand offish and annoyed.

And now Kahlan had taken a leaf out of Richard’s book and had taken to staring at her then pretending she hadn’t been.

Maybe someone else might not have noticed, Kahlan did know how to be subtle. But Cara was the seeker, and she felt eyes on her constantly. Most of the time she would ignore it, but occasionally she would spin round and their eyes would lock before Kahlan hurriedly glanced away.

She lets her set her sleeping things down next to her though. Kahlan would shift closer to her when they sat by the fire. And when they finally put it out and went to sleep she would lay down closely next to her without a word. In the morning her hand would be resting in the space between them, like she had been reaching out to hold Cara’s hand in the dark.

 

Then the arrows fly. 

She sees Kahlan’s hair flowing like it’s in slow motion as she ducks out the way, the arrows slipping through the dark tendrils, missing her by inches.

The next one wouldn’t have missed though, if it weren’t for Richard.

Richard had always been more protector than assassin, and that’s what he was then, shoving Kahlan out the way with no thought for himself as the arrow pierces his shoulder.

Her friends are being surrounded and one of them was hurt – Cara feels the dread of it sinking into her chest. And she lets it turn to rage. She lets that rage travel through her to her other self, the sharp silver counterpart that was the sword of truth she held in her hands.

She cuts down everyone in her way. She keeps looking at Kahlan who is crouching over Richard protectively, holding his hands despite the blood coating them.

Cara leaves no one alive. The sight of her friend’s blood roars within her and she powers through the soldiers attacking her to get to them. The men she is fighting are nothing but ashes. They were already dead. The moment they fired those arrows at her friends, they were dead.

 

She sinks to her knees with Richard and Kahlan, feeling warm tears gather in her eyes. Fear and desperation rattle her bones and her breath is heavy and panicked.

“He’ll be alright I think, it isn’t deep, but we have to get him to safety quickly.” Kahlan rushes.

Cara nods quickly and helps her pull Richard to his feet.

“You’ll be ok. You did a very brave thing.” She says to him and he peers up at her as they weave their way through the bodies. His eyes widen, this is probably the kindest thing she’s ever said to him. “A very stupid thing of course.” She quips and he smiles fondly. “But brave.”

“I was just doing what any of us would do for one another.” He shrugs, then winces in the pain of it as they settle him down by a rock and lean him against it.

Kahlan mutters comforting nonsense to him as they tend to his wound and Cara watches her stroke his hair back from his face in a kind, motherly fashion.

 

Later that night Richard is sleeping, huddled under blankets by the fire. Cara and Kahlan had taken turns taking watch – watching not only for attackers but Richard too.

Kahlan is staring at him through the fire, a sad pensive look on her face. 

Cara sighs. They had been sat in silence for a long time now and she glances at her.

“He’s going to be fine.” She reassures her lamely.

Kahlan blinks, she had been so lost in thought. She looks at Cara quickly, offering her a small smile.

“I know. That’s not what I’m thinking about. Well not exactly, anyway.”

Cara studies her face for a moment before deciding what she was to say next. “What do you mean?”

Kahlan shrugs a little self-deprecatingly. “He was so close to dying. I know I’ve seen people die. Lost people, killed people even. But…something about seeing your friend in front of you like that. It gets to you. I suppose I’ve never really thought about the fact I could die. I’ve always known I will, of course, but it’s always been the bad guys dying. Not us.”

Cara understands what she’s trying to say. They had all seemed so invincible together, but their powers and their titles wouldn’t always save them, and that was scary to think about.

“It makes you think. Doesn’t it make you think?” Kahlan asks, wild eyes flying up to Cara’s. There is some kind of pleading on her face but Cara doesn’t know what answer she wants.

Seeing her perplexed expression, Kahlan’s shoulders slump in annoyance and she moves forward to take Cara’s hands suddenly.

“It makes you think that life is short. Its fleeting and its cruel and unfair.” She presses.

Cara swallows uncomfortably, staring down at their entwined hands. “Yes. Life is all of those things.” She whispers sadly.

Kahlan’s fingers lift her chin to look at her and her breath hitches at the intimate gesture. She lets Kahlan’s eyes capture her own and hold her in place, feeling herself on a precipice.

“But doesn’t that mean we should cling to joy wherever we find it? If the world is cruel, shouldn’t we treasure the love we find in it even more? If it is fleeting, then doesn’t that mean we should be with the people we love before the chance is taken away? Isn’t that what we’re fighting for here? For people to live and be happy? Shouldn’t we get to be happy?”

Kahlan breathes heavily as she finishes, staring at Cara expectantly.

Cara shakes her head, feeling tears swell in her eyes. “It will hurt so much more when it’s taken away.” She says, placing her hand on Kahlan’s cheek.

“It’s going to hurt either way. And at least if you live your life the way you want to, you can carry that with you into the next life. You have something to take with you, something good instead of just regrets.”

Before Cara can say anything, Kahlan leans over to her. Their fingers tighten around each other even more as she gently presses her lips to hers.

 

And this is the truth she searched for.

As she softens into Kahlan’s soft kiss, the warmth of the fire is nothing compared to the heat coiling in the pit of her stomach.

She knows, as her fingers travel through the confessor’s hair, that she is truth and she is hope and goodness. She feels the hope on her tongue. The hope that she might not always be married to death. The hope of belonging to someone in an unfamiliar world. The hope that love can conquer any force. The hope that truth would win out against the darkness they faced. The hope that none of it mattered when compared to the shape of Kahlan’s waist.

 

They wouldn’t discover the truth of how deep their connection was that night. Not for many nights would Kahlan trust herself to do more than kiss Cara. But Cara knows they can beat any curse, any power, even that of a confessor. 

If kahlan had taught her anything, it would be that.


End file.
